Jason Itzler, the escort agency impressario and certified wackadoo who has inserted himself into several high-profile sex scandals, is in court for charges of promoting prostitution and dealing coke. You won't believe his defense. It has something to do with a Billy Ray Cyrus conspiracy theory.
After cashing in on the Tiger Woods and Elliot Spitzer scandals, claiming the prostitutes they slept with worked for him, Itzler got busted for providing someone with a prostitute for a weekend and selling him $4700 worth of blow. Itzler, who has the words "King PImp" unironically tattooed on his body, came up with a very interesting explanation: this is all a cover up. Here's what he said in court:
"Last month, I sent a companion, a nonsexual companion, a baby sitter, not a prostitute, to Billy Ray Cyrus," Mr. Itzler said. "Billy Ray Cyrus made it clear he was not interested in sex."
Mr. Itzler added, "This is Miley Cyrus's father, by the way."
One night, while Mr. Itzler was with Mr. Cyrus, Mr. Cyrus nearly died from taking drugs, he said, but he arranged for the authorities to be called, to save Mr. Cyrus's life. He added that Mr. Cyrus had a close relationship with Mayor Michael R. Bloomberg.
Oh, this makes perfect sense. Itzler, who has been convicted of running an escort agency in 2006 and smuggling ecstacy in 2003 isn't a pimp and a drug dealer. No, he's just the guy who provided Billy Ray Cyrus with a "babysitter" and selflessly saved him from a drug overdose. Yup, that's it. We should be throwing this man a ticker-tape parade and naming Noah Cyrus' future first born after him, not throwing him in jail! Yes, exactly.
[Image via AP]