It's Official: Kids These Days Dumber Than Ever

The use of standardized test scores as a proxy for actual intelligence is a lazy, misguided, classist and culturally discriminatory tactic that makes the jobs of policymakers easier at the expense of the future of our children. That said, kids these days are more jaw-droppingly stupid than ever before. We're getting it from all sides.

America as a nation just got its SAT scores, and ugh... look, America was so tired that morning, and some girl behind us was like, popping gum the whole time.

Average scores on the SAT fell across the nation this year, with the reading score for the high school class of 2011 falling three points to 497, the lowest on record, according to a report Wednesday by the College Board, which administers the exams.

The average writing score dropped two points, to 489, and the math score was down one point, to 514.

Yes, it's true that more speakers of English as a second language are taking the test than ever before, and it's true that the persistent racial disparities in the test results are indicative of a fatal structural flaw, and it's true that the simultaneous drop in overall scores coupled with an increase in very high scores is part and parcel of the ongoing bifurcation of America into separate and unequal camps of haves and have-nots.

We don't give a shit. Go to your room. And read a fucking book, for once. If we hear you "txting" up there, we swear to god. We swear to god.

[NYT. Photo: Shutterstock]