Today we heard about yet another joke made about Michele Bachmann because she's a woman. Not because of her belief in an abusive space dad. Not because of her commitment to never looking directly at cameras. Just because she's a woman. Well, it's time the men got some of that too, said a commenter.
In the interest of balancing out the shit Sexually Attractive By Old-Ass Republican Standards awful female candidates tend to catch:
Mitt Romney looks like an Evil Hal Jordan-themed bachelorette party stripper
Rick Perry looks like what would happen if an inbred but wise person from the Central Time Zone carved a tough fertility idol out of a piece of wood from a tree struck by lightning
Jon Huntsman looks like a vaguely sexually-compelling college professor whose entire appeal is totally ruined when you learn that he is actually willing to fuck starstruck sophomore girls
Newt Gingrich looks like a giant pile of overcooked rice brought to life by a mischievous witch
Rick Santorum looks like if someone on DeviantArt drew a character from an off-brand direct-to-video knockoff of a Disney movie about anthropomorphic animals personified as a generic white guy
I know Tim Pawlenty quit the race, but he still looks like if a different mischievous witch transformed the phrase "pity fucK" into a living person
Use this information wisely.
[Photo via Getty]