Former KGB agent and billionaire newspaper tycoon Alexander Lebedev decided to spice up his appearance on some boring Russian talk show by punching fellow Russian billionaire Sergei Polonsky in the face. But it was probably justified, because Polonsky was the first to say he wanted to "stick one in the mouth."

Now, Polonsky could have been talking about getting a cherry-flavored lollipop for himself, or sticking one (cigarette) in the (cat's) mouth, or any number of things. But it also might have meant that he was about to punch Lebedev in the kisser. As Lebedev wrote on his blog, "In a critical situation, there is no choice. I see no reason to be hit with the first shot. I neutralized him."

The most critically injured victim in the skirmish was Lebedev's tight jeans, which suffered tearing.

[Daily Telegraph, YouTube, via Mogulite]