What are you doing tomorrow at 10:30? Meeting some guy from Craigslist who says he'll buy your kid? If you're near a television, check out President Obama's Rose Garden address—he's going to propose class warfare!

Obama's got a new plan: "The Buffett Rule," which would force millionaires to give one half of their salaries, in cash, to members of the Nation of Islam, and the other half to halogen lightbulb manufacturers. No, wait, sorry, I read that wrong—this is what he's proposing:

President Obama on Monday will call for a new minimum tax rate for individuals making more than $1 million a year to ensure that they pay at least the same percentage of their earnings as middle-income taxpayers, according to administration officials.

Chilling, isn't it? Can't you smell the class warfare in the air? Rep. Paul Ryan can!

"It adds further instability to our system, more uncertainty, and it punishes job creation," Mr. Ryan said on Fox News Sunday. "Class warfare may make for really good politics, but it makes for rotten economics."

Luckily for the rich, Americans, who broadly support raising taxes on the highest earners, have in their infinite wisdom elected Republicans to a majority in the House of Representatives, likely preventing the "Buffett Rule" from ever becoming law.