The Rich Will Not Become Class War Victims!

Liberals can finally stop occupying Wall Street and screeching pointlessly on their insular blog sites: President Barack Obama is going to tax the rich! He's finally standing up to Wall Street and throwing all his weight behind this symbolic gesture which will do little to fill the yawing gap of empire-induced debt! He just announced his firm intentions today. Already, the economy is crumbling.

As a direct result of this grievous insult towards the top 1%! They are a fragile sort, the job creators, and don't take kindly to being scapegoated as "people who pay taxes at tax rates far below the middle class, thanks to certain tax loopholes perpetuated by generation upon generation of politician in the pocket of the rich, due to the rotten intertwining of money and power in the American political system." Who would want to be called that? This isn't about the money, Barack—it's about the love. Where is everyone's love, for the rich?

The rich can fight back too, you know. The rich don't plan to stand for being singled out with pernicious tax rates that are equal to those paid by everyone else. You want to tax the rich? Try these military retiree benefit cuts on for size. How about some (now unfortunately necessary) layoffs to decay the morale of the little people? Did you know that child abuse rises during a recession? The rich would hate for something to happen to your kids. Look, the CEO of Wal-Mart knows that you poors are "concerned" about the economy, but don't mistake that for weakness. The CEO of Wal-Mart and his rich brethren are tired of being America's whipping-persons, as of 10:30 a.m. today. The rich will take this whole god damn economy down with them if they have to.

That's what "patriotism" means. Look it up.

[Photo: AP]