The Best Butt-Related Excerpts From The Rogue

The Rogue, Joe McGinniss' much-discussed gossipy book about Sarah Palin, hits stores tomorrow. But why wait an entire day to learn the most salacious news about Sarah and Todd Palin—and butts? We've got it for you now.

After a bit of speed-reading, we've located two key butt-related excerpts for you. The first section concerns Sarah Palin's campaign for municipal office in Wasilla in the mid 90s: in which she stands accused of using her butt for political and personal gain.

Sarah also introduced innuendo about sexual harassment into the campaign. She encouraged gossip about [opponent John] Stein and [police chief Irl] Stambaugh acting inappropriately during an early-morning step-aerobics class that she occasionally attended. The two men, being less than svelte, had signed up for the class, along with the head of the department of public works, Jack Felton.
"It was a small room," Stambaugh said, "and there were maybe twenty people in the class. Us big guys stood in the back so nobody would have to look at us, because, to tell you the truth, it wasn't a pretty sight. One day Sarah shows up. She goes right to the front and she puts on this incredible demonstration— three risers, double steps, I don't know what all, but it was a hell of a routine. Afterward, I complimented her on her incredible stamina."
Before the next class, the instructor approached the three men. "Sarah Palin says she's uncomfortable," the instructor said, "because she thinks you guys are ogling her butt. She wants me to move you to the front of the room so you won't be able to watch her during class."
The men agreed. But that didn't work either. "You guys are so big," the instructor said, "that when you're in the front of the room you block everybody's view of me." ...

A friend offered a different perspective. "One morning," she told me during the summer of 2010, "Sarah came back in her workout stuff— her outfits were very provocative— and she's singing, 'I like big butts and I cannot lie,' and she's dancing around the kitchen. Todd comes in from the garage, and Sarah starts going on about how the guys are checking her out at the workout place. The way she's saying it is totally antagonizing Todd, and he finally says, 'Well, why don't you put some fuckin' clothes on?'"

Todd Palin, however, comes in for some butt-related scrutiny of his own. In this section, McGinniss relates the story of an "attractive white woman" who moved to Dillingham—Todd Palin's hometown, which he returned to each summer to work in commercial fishing—in the mid-1990s. She began hanging out with Todd (who was already married to Sarah) and his friends.

"Todd hit on me," she told me in the summer of 2010.
"During summer, the fishing season, Todd was out there, and they'd all flirt with me. I'd probably flirt back. I remember coming out of a restaurant one day and Todd was in his old Ford truck with a boat hooked up to the back, and he was like, 'Come here.' I had on these overalls with a bikini top, and he said 'I hear lots about you.' Then he said 'Turn around,' and I said, 'What?' and he said 'I hear you got a great heart-shaped ass' and 'Aren't you just adorable?' Todd was hot back in the day, and I remember thinking, 'Hmmm.' Then I found out he was married. I was like, 'Well, I don't roll that way.'
"J.D. had one of those big Native steams behind his house and he always invited the white girls. A bunch of us would go over. One day Todd made a comment about my nipples being pink. I said, 'You've never seen me naked,' and he said, 'Well, maybe there's a peephole.' Todd and his friends had been peepin' on us for months. And he wasn't some horny teenager; he was a grown and married man."

Good couple!

The Rogue is available everywhere tomorrow.