'America's Sheriff' Assembles 'Elite Team of Five' to Investigate Obama Birth Certificate

There's a rumor going around Arizona about a black fellow claiming to be president, and Sheriff Joe Arpaio, is going to get to the bottom of it—even if it gets him tons of press kills him.

But how can one man track down this impostor, especially when there are so many immigrants whose rights need to be violated? Don't worry, citizen (you are a citizen, right?)! Arpaio (pictured above with Men's Wearhouse model) has help: the "Cold Case Posse." Thinly-Veiled Racism's Paper of Record, World Net Daily, reports:

The "Cold Case Posse," however, has been described as a "posse within the posse," consisting of volunteers with professional experience in conducting investigations, including individuals chosen because of their professional backgrounds in law enforcement, as well as lawyers who have participated in criminal or civil cases and individuals with specialized skills in fields ranging from accounting to conducting criminal forensic examinations.

In the past few months, the Cold Case Posse has been inactive, largely because of budgetary limitations within the Maricopa County Sheriff's office.

But in the past few days, Arpaio has assigned a 5-person group serving under the auspices of the Cold Case Posse to undertake the Obama birth certificate investigation.

Who are the five brave patriots who make up the Cold Case Posse? (And will each be given a real big-boy badge to wear???) Their identities remain secret, no doubt over concerns that they'll be assassinated—just as Osama bin Laden was, only days before he was going to reveal Obama's birthplace. But we are pretty sure that they will finally get to the bottom of this issue.

[WND; image via AP]