Gordon Ramsay's Badger-Eaten Porn Dwarf: Just a Myth?

Looks like our skepticism regarding Percy Foster—the 35-year-old dwarf, Gordon Ramsay look-a-like, and porn star whose murder by hungry Welsh badgers captivated the world/Internet—was well-founded: Foster seems to be a made-up man, as mythical as the Gordon Ramsay look-a-like unicorn and the Gordon Ramsay look-a-like minotaur.

A Huffington Post reporter interviewed an historian of X-rated movies and searched the Internet Hi-Ho Hi-Ho and low in search of info on Foster, and discovered nothing to confirm his existence. (Our sources inform us that the dwarf whose photograph appeared in the Sunday Sport's "coverage" of the badger death is named Joey the Midget, and you can Google him yourself.) More importantly, an official for the police in Tregaron, Wales—where Foster's half-eaten body was supposedly found, told the reporter that she "hadn't heard of any report of the alleged death." Then again, it's possible that the Tregaron police are just trying to cover up the murder in order to protect its tourism industry.

Perhaps the only way for this riddle to be resolved once and for all is for a blogger to visit Tregaron to do some on-the-ground investigating and in-person interviews with both local police and local badgers. If someone were willing to fund an all-expenses-paid trip to Wales, I'd be totally willing to do this. Just that kind of selfless person, I guess. My research might also require a comprehensive tour of European resort towns, just to make sure that no Percy Foster porn-dwarf has secretly taken up residence in one of them (pretty sure he'd go to the French Riviera, but Ibiza's also possible). Potential sponsors, please get in touch. [Huffington Post]