Yoga Instructor Doesn't 'Get' This Whole Dog-Walking Thing

Joan Renee Zalk is a professional yoga instructor and acupuncturist, not a professional dog walker. So please pardon her for not realizing that making a chihuahua run alongside your Toyota Camry while you drive isn't an acceptable dog-walking practice. There's no manual about these things, and she doesn't always get to read the British papers.

Witnesses tell the Daily Camera newspaper that they saw Zalk driving down a Boulder, Colorado street at a rate of about 10 to 15 miles per hour with her friend's dog running on a leash beside it, huffing and puffing and trying to keep up. Was the dog just out of shape? No: most humans can't even run that fast. When police showed up on the scene, Zalk reportedly told them that the chihuahua's mom approved of her dog-walking style. This doesn't appear to be true, however.

Also:

According to the report, Zalk told the officer who took her to jail, "If it is illegal to walk the dog that way, just tell me and I won't do it again."

If it is illegal to walk the dog by tying it to the hood of the car, just tell me and I won't do it again. If it is illegal to walk the dog by tying it to the back of the car, just tell me and I won't do it again. If it is illegal to walk the dog by getting a hungry bear to do it, just tell me and I won't do it again. If it's illegal to ... oh hey, sorry! Just got caught up in imagining scenarios. Don't mind me.

As it turns out, it is illegal to walk a dog that way, so cops charged Zalk with animal cruelty.

[Daily Camera. Images via Boulder County Sheriff's Office, Shutterstock]