Rick Santorum Asked Google to Fix His Filthy Anal Sex Problem

Why does mean Google allow Rick Santorum's name to be linked to a messy anal sex byproduct? Rick Santorum wants to know! He called out the search engine yesterday over his well-known "Google problem."

As you probably already know, the first Google result for Republican presidential candidate Rick Santorum defines "Santorum" as "the frothy mix of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes the byproduct of anal sex." This is the result of a campaign by sex columnist Dan Savage to protest Santorum's ludicrous anti-gay positions.

But yesterday, Santorum complained to Politico yesterday that Google was smearing him: "I suspect if something was up there like that about Joe Biden, they'd get rid of it… To have a business allow that type of filth to be purveyed through their website or through their system is something that they say they can't handle but I suspect that's not true." Seems that after playing it cool for a while about his Google problem—even raising money off it—Santorum just got sick of seeing it every time he self-Googled. He even told Politico he asked Google to remove it (to no avail).

Thing is, as Search Engine Land's Danny Sullivan points out, it's not just Google offering the offending definition. Bing lists it first, too—even the Chinese search engine Baidu puts it above his official site.

Poor Rick Santorum. Google's rankings were declared "opinions" protected by the 1st Amendment in a 2003 Federal court ruling. Google literally is of the opinion that Rick Santorum is a gross anal byproduct and there's nothing he can do about it.