Ted Haggard to Appear on Celebrity Wife Swap

Meth-smoking, man-screwing Evangelical pastor Ted Haggard will soon be swappin' wives with none other than Gary Busey on the upcoming "celebrity" version of ABC's Wife Swap.

Haggard's wife, Gayle, will move into the Busey household for a few days, while Busey's wife will enter the Haggards' wailing den of sexual mysteries, and both will try to fix things up or impart some wisdom or whatever. Sounds bleak and horrifying! I mean, more bleak and horrifying than regular Wife Swap always is.

Other than the obvious reasons, the idea is strange because doesn't anyone know that Gayle will never come back? I mean, between the opportunity to flee Ted's web of sexcrazy and the possibility that Busey will lock her in a hope chest as some sort of "art project," it just really doesn't seem likely that Gayle will ever be returning to the Haggard household (which is actually just a swirl of confused pheromones hovering on a hilltop). [ColoradoSprings.com; image via AP]