The only Starbucks-related complaint that just-fired barista Christopher Cristwell fails to make in his little ditty here is that the once-classy chain now attracts too many camera-hiding perverts. Oh, and that they still don't serve 25-cent hot wings, though that particular issue might just be mine.
Cristwell, who lives in Chowchilla, California, posted "The Starbucks Rant Song" on YouTube all the way back in July to provide solace to fellow members of America's barista class. Surprisingly, he didn't get fired until yesterday. He worked there for five years! Fulfilling so many drink orders day-in, day-out for that long would make a barista a bit over the whole experience.
"They were really cool about [the song]. The regional manager complimented me on my creative ability - not on that specific song - and then asked me why I did it. They were really trying to find out about my intent behind the videos."
A Starbucks spokesman confirms that managers asked Cristwell to "discuss his motivation" for making the video. Maybe they will invite him to be a consultant and have him write some pro-Starbucks lyrics for a viral marketing campaign. Or maybe they won't, and Cristwell will just go to work for Peet's, as he suggests near the end of his epic song-poem.