Remember the defunct research satellite that was supposed to hit earth this week? It crashed down to earth over the Pacific last night. In unrelated news, I will be taking off the bike helmet I wore all week.

The Upper Atmosphere Research Satellite came down somewhere over the Pacific between 11:23 p.m. ET Friday and 1:09 a.m. ET Saturday ("precise time and location aren't yet known," according to NASA), and to the best of everyone's knowledge did not kill or maim any human beings. It was a later re-entry than expected, thanks to an unidentified change in "the satellite's position, shape or both" (probably aliens), but the government is confident that the whole thing is back on planet earth.

And if you happen to be floating around in the Pacific and come across a piece of UARS? Sorry, but you can't keep it:

Any surviving wreckage belongs to NASA. If someone finds a piece of it, NASA has the right to ask for its return. There are no toxic chemicals on board, but sharp edges could be dangerous, so the space agency warned the public to keep hands off and call the authorities.