Oh, You're Too Good to Get Drunk at a Fast Food Restaurant?

From morning booze at Starbucks to drive-thru booze at Sonic to just being a sad guy drinking booze at Burger King, we are living in a Golden Age of "being able to buy booze at fast food joints rather than being forced to buy booze at the gas station across the street and sneak it into the fast food place in a Big Gulp cup." But will this Golden Age persist?

Not if you, the insufficiently intoxicated consumer, have anything to say about it. What thanks does the downscale restaurant industry get for making alcohol available to you at breakfast, brunch, lunch, dinner, and Fourthmeal™? Just a bunch of headaches—and not the hangover kind! (ed.: Killer line!)

Customers apparently just don't think a value meal pairs well with a cabernet, and the logistics involved with selling alcohol can be daunting and expensive. The problems include obtaining permits, training a staff that has high turnover, slowing down service when IDs have to be checked, and finding a dedicated area for alcohol service.

Yeah, the NYT says that all those fast food booze offerings aren't even making a lot of money or anything, just a lot of hassle. Apparently Americans like to drink booze at "bars," or in the comfort of their own cardboard boxes. It's enough to make a fast food restaurant manager say "Dude more for me haha, blurggggghh." (The fast food restaurant manager was vomiting booze, unlike you, cheapskate.)

[NYT, photo via forestfolks/Flickr]