Cantaloupe Is Deadly

The worst part of any fruit salad, cantaloupe, is now the most deadly. Sixteen people are dead and 56 more people in 18 states have fallen ill after eating melons which were infected with listeria.

The Colorado farm where the outbreak started has recalled all its product and the FDA is helping to get potentially hazardous food off the market before the epidemic gets worse. Already this is being called the worst food contamination outbreak in a decade. From cantaloupe? Bland, orangey, inoffensive cantaloupe? We bet when interviewed on the nightly news the honeydew and pineapple said, "He always seemed like a nice guy. He kept to himself."

But no, that shit will kill you. Guess you should keep doing what you were doing in the first place, picking around it and going for the grapes and strawberries. Everyone knows it's just there for filler anyway.

[Image via Shutterstock]