Nothing Can Stop the Nasty Beetle Invasion

Beetle colors! Beetle invasion! Clam fish! Beetle fighting! Beetle resignation! Beetle fear! Beetle immigration! Penguin smell! And beetle beetle beetles all up in your house! It's your Thursday Science Watch, where we watch science—creepily!

  • Beetles: they creep around all over everything being disgusting, and not only that but they flash their bright colors like common whore beetles. And not only that, but those showoff colors change slightly when the beetles die and become fossilized. Where do you get off, beetles?
  • On top of that beetles are chewing their way through the forests of Utah and Wyoming as we speak, ruining all of the perfectly good trees. Nobody wants a chewed-up beetle tree, not even Mother Nature. Ugh, beetles, just stop.
  • Here's a fish that uses a tool to find clams. Cute fish!
  • Back to the subject of beetles for a moment: teams of Forest Service entomologists are doing everything they can to stop them in Idaho. But do you really think they'll be successful? Now who's the delusional one, Alice?
  • In Minnesota, they've finally stopped beating themselves up about their beetle outbreak. It was "inevitable." Let's all learn something from Minnesota's attitude: the beetle army is unstoppable. Better to sit cross-legged and meditate to our pagan gods in the final moments before we're overrun, rather than get all exercised about it.
  • I mean, even baby beetles are actually eating the predators that are supposed to be eating them. What hope do you have?
  • The border patrol is powerless against the invasion of foreign beetles. There are probably beetles in the bottom of your suitcase right now. Try not to think about it.
  • Penguins can tell all the other penguins in their penguin family just by sniffing them with their little penguin nose. Aww.
  • Oh my god, my house could be built of nasty beetle slobber-covered beetle-bitten beetle wood? I'm going to go vomit.
[Photo: John Tann/Flickr ]