This week I was going to give everyone the ax who has a star but has yet to upload an avatar but, well, we haven't been showing avatars for days now. The tech team is working on it, I assure you, and while we wait I figured we'd focus on a few people who've engaged in one of my least favorite pet peeves.
Here at Gawker, we love television. We love to watch it, we love to write about it, and we especially love to talk about it in the comments sections of our recaps and reviews. But there's one type of person who often joins the conversation and who I just can't stand: the guy who thinks he's so much cooler or smarter or more interesting than everyone else just because he doesn't watch the program in question. In fact, not only doesn't he watch the show, he hates it. God, that's so annoying.
Is there anything I could do to make myself give a single fuck about [Glee]?
No? Ok then.
Why do you feel the need to do this? If you don't give a single fuck about a show, why would you even click on a post about it? And if you clicked on a post and found out it was about a thing you don't give a fuck about, then why would you even comment? Don't you realize a comment is like buying a ticket to Fenway Park just so you can stand next to the Green Monster and shout that the Red Sox suck? While that might be true (haha, just kidding, Dad!) we certainly don't want to hear it. And, just like at Fenway, you are surrounded by fans and they're going to pounce on you and kick your ass just for saying so.
You not caring about a show doesn't make you any better or smarter than the rest of us. It just makes you a boring person who has nothing better to do than troll the television-related posts on the internet. I also hate people who are like, "I didn't watch this show," like Edward McBragg, who is also being banned. Would you go to a cancer patient's support group if you don't have cancer? The same goes for people who comment "Is this show still on?" The answer is yes, because if it wasn't we wouldn't fucking be writing about it. Deep breaths, Moylan.
That's not to say that all of you out there have to like every show we like (or hate every show we hate). By all means, feel free to show up with a well thought out argument about the show or a critique of its finer points and/or failures. In fact, OverThePond left a great comment today criticizing Jersey Shore. While I vigorously disagree, he's welcome to have it because he arrived with an opinion and a coherent and eloquent argument. That's all we ask.
For the rest of you who want to show off your intellectual superiority (and pop culture inferiority) by vainly attempting to make us feel bad about our TV choices, leave us alone. We're trying to have very important discussions about very trivial things.
A Few Notes & How to Submit Nominations
All decisions about commenter executions are final. There is no appeal, though bribery is sometimes acceptable depending on the severity of the offense and the amount of the bribe. Executed commenters may be allowed back after a suitable period of exile.
Because this process is to better the community, citizen's arrests for unruly commenters are welcome and encouraged. Executions can be based on a single incident or general and prolonged suckiness. Please submit your nominations to email@example.com.
Please include your rationale for execution and a link to the specific comment (you can get the direct link by clicking on the comment's time stamp) for evidence. Any commenter who submits a successful accusation for execution will be rewarded and deputized with a gold star. Happy commenting, and pass the remote!