As Americans slowly masturbate their pudgy, formless bodies into oblivion, it has become increasingly clear that soon a new species will arise to fill the void once occupied by the only race to have set foot on the moon. And, lo, here is that species: The "Hairy Crazy Ant."
The "Hairy Crazy Ant" is thought to be a native of South America. Lately, it has been wreaking havoc in Mississippi, and invading other southeastern states as well, through a simple strategy of being hairy, and crazy:
And they're on the move in Florida, Texas, Mississippi and Louisiana. In Texas, they've invaded homes and industrial complexes, urban areas and rural areas. They travel in cargo containers, hay bales, potted plants, motorcycles and moving vans. They overwhelm beehives - one Texas beekeeper was losing 100 a year in 2009. They short out industrial equipment.
If one gets electrocuted, its death releases a chemical cue to attack a threat to the colony, said Roger Gold, an entomology professor at Texas A&M.
"The other ants rush in. Before long, you have a ball of ants," he said.
As the video above shows, the ants move in seemingly random directions at a frenetic pace. (Hence "crazy.") So far, no ant infestation has forced a human out of his or her home—yet:
"Months later, I could close my eyes and see them moving," said Joe MacGown, who curates the ant, mosquito and scarab collections at the Mississippi State Entomological Museum at Mississippi State University. [...] MacGown said he hopes their numbers are curbed in Louisiana and Mississippi before it's too late.