Hot New Campus Accessory: Guns

What's new "on campus" these days? Guns! Guns, guns, guns. The college experience is no longer considered complete without a firearm to accompany you all over campus. Don't be a victim—of enemies of the Second Amendment!

Inside Higher Ed has an overview today of the rapidly expanding field of States Where Crazies Have Somehow Made It Legal to Carry Guns on Campus-ology. I mean, sure, we expect this stuff from Arizona. And Texas. But Oregon and Wisconsin, allowing concealed guns on campus? Believe it, thanks to conservative legislators and lawsuits from gun nuts! Thank god that your children will now be safe.

Advocates of concealed carry argue that it is essential to keeping themselves or others safe. While campus police officers may protect a college to the extent that they can, license-holders would be able to respond to incidents such as the massacre at Virginia Tech University when officers don't get there in time, they say. Shootings may take place in mere minutes or even seconds, and it often takes police longer than that to arrive on the scene.

Movie sequel idea! HOW HIGH 2: FULLY LOADED. Method Man and Redman return to campus to smoke lots of marijuana and stage panty raids—only this time, they're both carrying concealed Glock 9 millimeters at all times. Everyone feels much safer.

Feel good movie of the summer! Education and safety, huzzah!

[Inside Higher Ed, photo via Shutterstock.com]