Lindsay Lohan's New Things: A Lawsuit, a Car, and a Fingernail

Lindsay's collecting exotic objects. Paul McCartney feels like somebody's husband now. Arnold Schwarzenegger touches himself in public. Sunday gossip is dressed in a neon green bikini and matching high heels and posing awkwardly on the hood of a sports car.

  • Lindsay Lohan's being sued yet again—this time by Elite Transportation Limo and Security Services, who claim she never paid them $100,000 to haul her bony ass around to the Jamba Juice and Pootie's house and other places on her travel circuit. Time to go shopping for new court clothes! For this trial she should wear nothing but animal costumes. Also: the bar association in Los Angeles should honor her for her financial contributions to the legal industry, though that might violate some professional ethics rule. [E News]
  • Even though she's penniless and subsisting on nothing but Red Bull and Fancy Feast, LiLo scrounged up enough pennies from between the couch cushions to buy herself a brand-new Porsche Panamera. Nothing too extravagant—it's a low-end model. We all need to treat ourselves to nice things sometimes. And anyway, she had to buy one because the limos wanted her to pay them all the time, and because Samantha Ronson just bought one and Lindsay "fell in love" with it, like she fell in love with Samantha herself, in the back of a rented limo, so many years ago. [Radar, NY Post]
  • Looks like somebody bought impoverished LiLo (LoLiza?) Doolittle a salad! Too bad there was a fake fingernail in it. Even salads victimize our girl. Maybe she can sell the nail on eBay to replenish her legal fund coffers. [Lindsay Lohan's Twitter]
  • Did Demi Moore talk to a divorce lawyer? That's what "an entertainment industry insider" is saying. (The insider is Pauly Shore, though, so consider that.) [Daily Mail]
  • Michael Jackson's kids showed up at a tribute concert for their dad wearing outfits inspired by his wardrobe. Maybe we should all dress up like our dads from now on, to honor them. I'm going to order 20 flannel shirts right now. [People]
  • Jennifer Hudson didn't dress up like anything at the Michael Jackson tribute show, because she didn't show up at all. Why? Because "major production issues." Maybe she felt pressured to wear a Thriller jacket and didn't feel like it. [TMZ]
  • Sir Paul McCartney is now Mr. Nancy Shevell and officially off the market again. "I feel married," he said after the ceremony. What does "feeling married" feel like? Does it feel like jellyfish stinging you repeatedly, every day, for the rest of your life? Does it feel like the warm embrace of your mom—except not your mom, because that's weird? How does it go? (Related: Paul McCartney just married his mom.) [BBC]
  • Arnold Schwarzenegger loves Arnold Schwarzenegger in all of Arnold Schwarzenegger's incarnations, but especially loves him some sculpted in bronze. Touching Schwarzenbuttocks. [TMZ]
  • Prince Harry's been partying it up with Red Bulls and vodkas during his sojourn in San Diego, where he's finishing his Apache military training. Ladies of San Diego, now's your chance to meet (and marry) a real prince! Put on your best spandex and get out there, work it. [US]
  • Former Weezer bassist Mikey Welsh was found dead in his Chicago hotel room on Saturday. The authorities suspect drugs were involved. He was only 40. You can leave your thoughts here. [EW, Chicago Tribune]
  • Discarded husband Tareq Salahi now faces a $5,000 lien from the state Virginny for unpaid taxes. Couldn't have happened to a nicer guy. [TMZ]
  • A woman walked behind Tom Cruise and Lil' Suri in Pittsburgh yesterday while wearing a purple tube top and fake blood. Yes, a purple tube top! Horrifying. [US Magazine]
[Image via AP]