Prince Harry Is Now in America

Alert! Alert! Ginger prince alert! England's Prince Harry, younger brother of old married Duke of Cambridge William, has arrived in the United States. Ladies, go crazy.

And gentlemen too! Basically everyone go crazy, because England's chief sexport has arrived on American shores for... military helicopter training on a base in California. Oh. He's not here to tour our bars and nightclubs, whooping it up with a European sense of sexual flexibility, throwing his God-granted money around like he just doesn't care? He won't be shirtlessly feeding us cheeseburgers as an expression of American-British good will? He won't be waking up early at any particular blog writer's apartment to make them breakfast in bed and then they spend the rest of the day taking a walk and sitting on a sunny bench and reading the New Yorker, the blogger's head resting on Harry's lap like at the end of Notting Hill? That's not happening? He's just going to be playing around with ratty old helicopters because of the stupid army? Fine. :(

[LAT image via Getty]