News10 producer Duffy Kelly heard about wild turkeys who'd been terrifying the good jogging people of Sacramento, California, and decided to scope the scene out for herself. She barely survived the experience.
"Oh my God! Go away! Go away! Go away! Oh my God! ... Holy crap ... Ahhhh Jesus Christ NOOOOOOO!!!" she says, as the turkey menacingly runs toward her. A mail carrier tries to save her by driving toward the turkey, but the possessed devil bird remains undaunted. It is out for mainstream media blood.
Kelly considers throwing her camera at the turkey but finally escapes to the safety of her car. The winged stalker just stands there, watching, a Lurky Turkey with murder on his walnut-sized brain. "I would not want to be the people living here, thank you very much," Duffy says, as she catches her breath.
Turkeys are even more terrifying than New Jersey's notorious micro-tsunamis.