What's going on at annual social conservative mutual-masturbation session The Values Voter Summit? Oh, you know—networking, stump speeches, giving a standing ovation to the guy who calls "the homosexual agenda" the "greatest immediate threat" to the United States. The usual!

Hmm, yes; I always thought the possibility of a eurozone collapse was the greatest immediate threat to the U.S., but now that I really consider it, clearly, it's the gays, and their brooding sexuality. Not convinced? Let American Family Association radio host Bryan Fischer rap at ya:

[T]he homosexual agenda represents the greatest immediate threat to every freedom and right that is enshrined in the First Amendment, it's a particularly threat to religious liberty.... We need a president who understands that every advance of the homosexual agenda comes at the expense of religious liberty. We need a president who understands that we must choose as a nation between homosexuality and liberty, because we cannot have both. A president who understands that we must choose between homosexuality and liberty, and who will choose liberty every time.

So, basically, we, as a country, are Sarah Jessica Parker in the movie I Don't Know How She Does It, where "homosexuality" is our career and "liberty" is our family and I guess "Islam" is Pierce Brosnan? And we have to choose? Or something? Anyway, the point is, Michael Kors and Janis Ian are trying to take away Bryan Fischer's freedom, by being gay, in the same country as him.



But if hot gay sex is the biggest short-term threat to this country, what's the biggest long-term threat? Consumer debt at 90 percent of GDP? A large and growing deficit? Nope, and nope: The "greatest long-term threat to our liberty" is... the centuries-old religion of Islam. Religion Dispatches' Sarah Posner has some highlights from the speech:

More Fischer, to the Values Voters audience: "The threat is not radical Islam, but Islam itself. This is not Islamophobia, this is Islamorealism."

And: ""The more devout a Muslim becomes, the more he becomes a threat to our national security."

And: "While there might be moderate Muslims, there is no such thing as moderate Islam."

Another presidential prerequisite, for Fischer: That he must "resist" and "prevent" the "implementation" of "sharia law." He got a standing ovation for that.

After characterizing homosexuality as a "threat to public health," Fischer proceeded to excoriate the Occupy Wall Street movement and liberals in general for being "driven by this angry, bitter" greed "for the wealth of productive Americans."

Okay, ha, seriously, we're almost done with all the insane things Bryan Fischer said today, as soon as you watch this video here, which is where he claims that the reason we haven't had a terrorist attack since 9/11 (uh) is that we sing "God Bless America" at baseball games.

I would say that, yes, this guy definitely deserved a standing ovation, for sure.

[image of a few Values Voters via AP]