Tom Friedman Does Not Know What's Happening Here

The title of bumbling self-parody Tom Friedman's column today is "There's Something Happening Here," which is a little misleading. Yes, there is something happening; of that, Tom Friedman is certain. But if you came looking for what is happening, you'll be disappointed.

What is happening out there? Tom Friedman's been real busy playing golf, honestly, but he'll take a crack at it, by just copy-pasting whatever some other guys said somewhere:

There are two unified theories out there that intrigue me. One says this is the start of "The Great Disruption." The other says that this is all part of "The Big Shift." You decide.

Tom Friedman doesn't get paid to write columns which communicate any original ideas which might enlighten anyone anywhere about anything. Tom Friedman gets paid to hastily tell you what intrigues him. And if what intrigues him are vague monikers accompanied by even more preposterously vague explanations? All the better.

"We are living in a world where flow will prevail and topple any obstacles in its way," says Hagel. "As flow gains momentum, it undermines the precious knowledge stocks that in the past gave us security and wealth. It calls on us to learn faster by working together and to pull out of ourselves more of our true potential, both individually and collectively. It excites us with the possibilities that can only be realized by participating in a broader range of flows. That is the essence of the Big Shift."

Is Tom Friedman simply quoting any New Age cult leader who steps into his golden salon as he is masturbating to a photo of an Intel factory? The Flow will gain Momentum to maximize our True Potential causing the Big Shift. Great, great technical explanation there. I think that explains everything in the world, more or less, sums it all up in a way that even a three-year-old could understand, or Tom Friedman.

The final sentence of this column is also "You decide." That's what Tom Friedman is paid millions upon millions of dollars for: to tell you to decide which of the two worthless theories he cribbed from others is correct. Tom Friedman is the 1%.

[NYT, photo via Getty]