The mumbling woodchucks over at Fox & Friends were discussing Texas governor Rick Perry's support of the DREAM Act this morning and, to provide an opposing voice, brought on two young men from Texas A&M's Texas Aggie Conservative Student Group.

These fine young men, who attend a taxpayer-supported public university right alongside the potential illegal children, just do not believe that the DREAM Act — which allows for children brought into the country illegally before the age of 16 to establish residency if they finish high school and attend college or join the armed services — should be implemented, because that means that taxpayers (which these students are very likely not) will be supporting the educations of people who "cannot legally work in the United States." Never mind that they would have residency upon graduation. While they were in school they'd still be filthy illegals, and that is just not acceptable, say these two college kids attending a public university on the taxpayers' dime.

Clearly these two upstanding young gentlemen kindly requested from the womb that they be born exactly where they were within the United States, so they've been tugging on those bootstraps since the sperm hit the egg. But those schlumps, those teat-sucking drains, those immigrants, they pulled at their parents' pant legs when they were little and said "Madre, padre, please smuggle me into the US so I can siphon off cheap(ish) college education from those stupid gringos." That's exactly how all undocumented children enter the country!

To her credit, Fox & Friends cohost/golem of popcorn and mayonnaise Gretchen Carlson was like "But, uh, don't you have any sympathy for these kids? I mean haven't you known any of these kids?" And of course the boys have sympathy, and they don't know anyone they're talking about, but still. The whole damn thing is unfair. Sorry, them's the breaks. That's America.

So there's your future, guys! Ol' Mushmouth and Captain Doofus over there, deciding what's fair. Aren't you Texans glad you're paying for their education?