Republican Florida state Rep. Brad Drake entered a Waffle House and emerged a man with ideas. Bold ideas, about breakfast. But also some ideas on how to kill Florida's death row inmates with firing squads. Regular Florida folks might be tapped to help shoot some of these condemned critters, because government employees shouldn't have all the fun.
According to the Florida Current, Drake has filed a bill that would bring back the firing squad for death row inmates and also do away with lethal injection—the murder method of choice for bleeding-heart libruls. Electrocution would become the default killing method, but inmates could request to be shot if they didn't feel like spending their last moments on earth sizzling and smoking and writhing in pain. Consumers should have choices, right? That's how capitalism works. Nothing's firmed up yet, but citizen volunteers might be able to perform the shooting.
Drake's source of inspiration for this new legislation was some
doofus random sausage-munching visionary whom he met at the Waffle House:
In a Waffle House in DeFuniak Springs, Drake said he heard a constituent say, "'You know, they ought to just put them in the electric chair or line them up in front of a firing squad.'" After a conversation with the person, Drake, 36, said he decided to file the bill.
"There shouldn't be anything controversial about a .45-caliber bullet. If it were up to me we would just throw them off the Sunshine Skyway bridge and be done with it," Drake said.
[...]"I am so tired of being humane to inhumane people," he said.
What kind of murder methods have you discussed at Waffle House lately?