Asian Horde Prevents White Man From Buying iPhoneS

All Business Insider CEO/editor-in-chief Henry Blodget wanted to do was walk into the Apple Store and pick up a new iPhone 4S, as is his birthright as a rich, white American. But when he got there, his quest was stymied by a horde of "Asian folks" "scarfing up" all the iPhones!

Blodget headed down to the Fifth Avenue Apple Store at 7:30 this morning because he "had to be in midtown at the crack of dawn for a CNN hit." But there was a line of 100 people waiting outside. But these weren't just any people… they were Asians:

The thing I noticed immediately was the homogeneity of the folks in the line.

They were all of Asian descent. And they weren't speaking any English, at least not that I heard.

This prompts Blodget to propose a theory that the people in line were Chinese people sending iPhones back to China. (This is probably true!)

"But why?" Blodget asks. "Don't they have Apple stores in China now?" Come on, Asian folks: You've got perfectly good Apple stores in China—can't you scarf up iPhones in a way that won't prevent any rich white dudes from getting to their CNN hit? (Little known fact: In China, scarfing is a sign of respect.) Eventually, Blodget trudges away, dejected.

Thank you for writing this, Henry. It's a nice break from all those "White folks scarfing up iPhones" stories.