It's been a rough day for Goldman Sachs CEO Lloyd Blankfein. His company reported a humiliating $428 million quarterly loss this morning, just the second in Goldman's 12-year history as a public company. We figured he might like a sympathy call from the Occupy Wall Street folks, who know how to get by with less. Here's his cell phone number.
Here are some pick-me-up messages you might want to deliver to Blankfein: "I know you just lost half a billion dollars, but look on the bright side—you've set aside $10 billion in bonuses to pay out to your 34,200 employees." Or, "Hey, just do what I do when I run out of money—head over to the Fed's discount window and borrow more at no interest." Or, "Just think how much worse the loss would be if you hadn't had the foresight to snag that $13 billion taxpayer-financed pass-through bailout via AIG." Or, "We've all got to eat a shitty deal once in a while."
Or you could share your own tale of economic woe—maybe you've had trouble paying off student loans—and let Blankfein know how you got through it. Whatever you do, remember to be civil. And that New York law allows for the recording of telephone calls so long as one party consents. If you do record your conversation, send it our way.
If you can't get through on his cell, you can always try him at the office—(212) 902-0593—or email him at email@example.com. Tell him hi.