You're Nobody Without a Rocket Ship

Rocket starships! Robot wings! Radar X-ray! Huge amoebas! Gravity detector! Solar Himalaya! Nanoparticle assembly! Leader faces! And a solo-visaged octo-tentacled beast that will haunt your very nightmares! It's your Tuesday Science Watch, where we watch science—and beyond!

  • "Make a roc-ket to the stars/ A hundred years, way past Mars/ Fly-ing in your roc-ket ship/ Far away, from your wife and kids/ Space sex on a faraway starrrrrrrrrr!" Sound interesting? Gimme a few hundred billion and you sir could one day be living that fantastic tune.
  • Scientists think a new robotic bug could teach us about the evolution of flight in nature. "It appears to have evolved when scientists attached wings to a robot," they speculated enthusiastically.
  • Now a team of MIT researchers have designed a radar ray that can see right through concrete walls. Of course nerds would do that. Hey, how's "Doc Oc" looking on the other side of that wall? Nerds.
  • "I'm not fat—it's just the oxygen levels," said the huge single-celled ancient amoeba. And that amoeba was telling the truth. Unlike you, babe. I love you, but unlike you, babe.
  • So India says that it wants its own gravity wave detector, and you just stand there slack-jawed, thinking about feeding the dog and your date Friday night and your boring job and family and friends and, what else, the Powerball numbers and your favorite sports teams and the newspaper funny pages you read in the bathroom and the jokes you make afterwards for your little stand-up comedy performance coming up real soon—your first? I'll be right there cheering you on!
  • It's true: The Himalayas could become the Saudi Arabia of solar. That's all I was told. I don't have any more information on that for you.
  • Let's talk about nanoparticle assembly, shall we? Well. This is embarrassing. Though I've asked you to talk about it, I find myself quite bored by the topic. Smoke?
  • Why do good leaders have crooked facial features? Probably some scientific reason, I guess, or this whole premise could just be bullshit.
  • Cyclops sharrrrrrrrkkkkkkkkk!!
[Photo via Perfecto Insecto/ Flickr]