Think of "fruits" and "vegetables" like parsley. Parsley is a vegetable. And here in America, we use fruit and vegetables the same way that we use parsley: as window dressing, as a little green thing that makes the real food (Cheez) look better.

The WSJ reports that food makers—the ones who know what Americans like to actually eat (Cheez)—are urging grocery stores to stop wasting their produce sections by just filling them up with boring fruits and vegetables. Instead, why not use the vegetables as a backdrop to the food that people actually like? Make people get that nice "fresh and clean" feeling when they make their Cheez purchase. But will this ruin the sacred bond of trust between a bleary-eyed Cheez shopper in a motorized shopping cart and his or her Giant Grocery Outlet #138 merchandising manager?

Still, most grocers aren't eager to bring items other than fresh food into the produce section. "We really want to try to keep the balance between what we would perceive as fresh produce" and dry grocery items or processed food, says Craig Ignatz, vice president of produce and floral at Giant Eagle Inc., a supermarket company with locations throughout the eastern U.S. "There has to be a good reason," like a recent display that put Tostitos Tortilla Chips next to guacamole ingredients like avocados, he says.

Has to be a good reason, like somebody wants some fucking chips. It's game day, America.

[WSJ, photo of the real 'produce section' via David Berkowitz/Flickr]