New York Carriage Horse Drops Dead on 54th St.

Congratulations, tourists. Your pathetic need to reignite the long-dead flames of your loveless marriages by forcing a sickly, mistreated horse to haul your fat asses around Central Park has resulted in murder.

A white carriage horse "keeled over and died" on W. 54th St. near Eighth Ave. on Sunday, on its way to its morning slave shift. Says Elizabeth Forel of the Coalition to Ban Horse-Drawn Carriages: "A healthy horse doesn't just die on the street. We are asking for an investigation." A lawyer for the ASPCA added, "The ASPCA has long believed that carriage horses were never meant to live and work in today's urban setting."

A spokesman for the Horse and Carriage Association of New York thinks it's the horse's fault for being so death-prone: "It's a tragedy. It's not something that happens regularly. Our horses are taken care of." [Daily News via Animal NY, Photo via Elizabeth Forel/Coalition to Ban Horse-Drawn Carriages]