Shit ton isn't a scientific measure, but it can be used to describe the 104 bricks of coke that Leo Sharp, an 87-year-old Indiana resident, was busted with in Michigan. This is like a real life Breaking Bad.

Sharp, who works as a horticulturist normally, doesn't have a record and claims that he was forced at gunpoint to haul the stash across state lines. He faces life in prison (which, granted, for him could be a very short sentence) if convicted.

His attorney says there's a very good reason why he had so much booger sugar in the back of his truck. Oh, I can't wait to hear this one.

[Fox Detroit, image of cocaine via]