GAWKER: So, first off, thanks for sitting down with us.
JAMES FRANCO'S ASS: It's what I do.
Let's get this out of the way. Are you a gay ass?
[Laughs] I'm not really into labels. Let's just call me an anti-normative ass.
Fair enough. It seems like James's face has gotten most of the attention until now. Any body part rivalries between you two?
None at all. I mean, I'm pretty tight with James's face. I guess you could say he's my wingman. Face seals the deal, then I show up when it counts for the heavy lifting.
Any big screen aspirations?
Not really. I mean, I'm there, I'm part of the team. I did a lot of solid work in 127 Hours, but it was mostly supporting stuff. I did have a brief cameo in Milk. The swimming pool scene.
Right! You were good in that!
Man, that was actually a tough shoot. Water was freakin' cold. Didn't bother me so much as James's dick, though. Gave him an inferiority complex for days.
We gotta ask: What was it like hosting the Oscars?
[Farts] Like that. For three-and-a-half hours.