Isn't it frustrating when some furry cat goes and leaves its hair all your clothes, complicating your efforts to present a cleaner and tidier You? Doesn't it make you want to just, I don't know, murder the cat with a pen, or choke it, or both? No?
Well then, you and Freyando Bizardie of Phoenix, Arizona clearly disagree on what constitutes "effective coping strategies." The Phoenix New Times reports that Bizardie recently became so "depressed and angry" with a cat who furred up his outfits that he allegedly "tried to choke it to death—but that was only before he tried to stab it with a pen and he bit his sisters who were trying to keep him from killing the cat." A description of the tragic scene:
As Bizardie was choking the cat, one of his sisters grabbed his arm, forcing him to drop it.
The cat then ran under a couch, but Bizardie was apparently on a mission to kill the feline that had put him in such a foul mood.
Bizardie grabbed a pen and chased after the cat. He even moved the couch so he could reach the scared animal.
Meanwhile, Bizardie's two sisters were fighting with him to prevent him from killing the cat. During the fight, Bizardie stabbed one of his sisters behind the ear with the pen, causing minor injuries. He then bit each of his sisters—one on the arm, the other on the shoulder.
Keep in mind that none of this violence would have occurred had the cat stayed off the damn clothes. Cats destroy families.