James Franco's penis has issued a response:
"I categorically deny the allegations made by Mr. Franco's ass. Unfortunately, it seems as if you can never rely on the honesty of a man's ass in this town. I've known many men's asses out here in Hollywood and they're all full of shit. They lie, they break their promises and then they turn their fronts on you. They eat you up and then they spit you out. Well I spit right back at them! They've called on me many times in the past and I've always risen to the occasion. I've worked myself raw for them. And what do I get in return? Nothing but a stiff neck. I was supposed to be in Kinsey! But after I did everything that they asked, they went and gave the role to Peter Sarsgaard's penis. I guess he knows which angles to work. But not me. I'm done with this town. Ever since Mr. Franco hired me to replace his vagina, I've got nothing but lip service from him and his friends. I'm sick of it. Sick and tired. I'm packing my balls and going home. Give my mom a call, tell her I'll be back in time for pie."
A good sentiment to go out on. Bye, guys!
[Image via Getty]