The New York Post—the fascist barrel-scraping newspaper with its finger placed closest to the vibrant pulse of young, "hip" Brooklynites—has unearthed a new, hip trend, which is occurring among hipsters—in Brooklyn, of course. The hip, fashionmongering young people are diving into dumpsters to extract food, completely without care for the inherent wackiness of such a stunt, their eyes focused on only on nutrition—and hipness. Who ever heard of such a thing?
Brooklyn hipsters have found a new way of filling their bellies that would probably turn your stomach — rummaging for and then feasting on expensive food that grocery chains toss in the trash...
So while the average New Yorker might shell out $7 for a large salad at Starbucks during the day, just hours later, Fields and a growing population of educated and working hipsters are getting the same, although leftover, salads for free.
Hippppppppsttttterrrrrrsssssss! Average hardworking New Yorkers are spending their hard-earned money buying overpriced salads fair and square, while these hipsters waste their fancy college degrees by diving into dumpsters to get a free ride. These overeducated hipsters are giving a proud pastime of homeless people a bad name, by doing it just to piss us off. Hipster can even ruin garbage—in Brooklyn.
Hey: it's "fauxhemians," okay? Let's not backslide, people.