Kim Kardashian dressed up as Poison Ivy for Halloween and is divorcing her husband. Demi Moore dressed up as a divorcee. Lindsay Lohan is wearing an innocent nun's costume, Jessica Simpson is rocking an "immaculate conception" look, and Taylor Swift is going as a nude photo scandal. Monday's gossip doesn't know if it's a trick or a treat.
- TMZ reports Kim Kardashian will file for divorce this morning only 72 days after marrying basketball star and newly poor swindle victim Kris Humphries. It's not a world record, but damn, that's fast. Ryan Seacrest, who producers her many reality shows, confirmed the split on Twitter. That would be a little sad if it was anyone other than Kim Kardashian, but how else is she going to announce her divorce other than a statement by Ryan Seacrest on Twitter.
The news comes after they spent the weekend apart while Kim hosted a Halloween party here in New York, dressed as Poison Ivy from Batman, while her husband was in Minnesota with his family, probably telling them he was about to break up with his wife. Sorry, but if my wife dressed as a movie villainess from 10 years ago, I'd probably be too embarrassed to be seen in public with her too. But divorce seems a bit harsh! [TMZ, Page Six, images via WENN]
- Demi Moore was hanging with Cameron Diaz and a bunch of other famous ladies at a Halloween party on Friday night. She was skinny and drinking and having herself a good time. I don't know if she wore a costume, but it sounds like she was JWOWW. She looks more like a Snooki to me. Or a Kyle Richards. Anyway, Ashton Kutcher was not in attendance. He was at home tweeting himself and touching his hashtag all alone like a sad teenage millionaire tech investor. [US Weekly]
- According to TMZ, Lindsay Lohan is going to admit to a judge on Wednesday that she violated her probation by getting kicked out of her community service program. She's hoping that her admission and all the work she's been doing at the L.A. morgue will convince the judge to go easy on her. Don't count on it. Anyway, I don't even care what happens to her at court on Wednesday, I just want to know what she's going to wear. Please let me be leather. I'll do all my homework for a week and do the dishes for a month if it's leather. [TMZ]
- Jessica Simpson is not rubbing her baby bump in public. No, she just stuffed a pumpkin under her shirt and is making sure it doesn't fall. Yes, that must be it. [Radar Online]
- Apparently Taylor Swift is threatening to sue a website called CelebrityJihad.com because it posted a picture of a blonde woman's breasts and asked "Taylor Swift Topless Private Pic Leaked?" The website says it's weighing its options and Swift's camp wouldn't comment. That means they're giving the lawyers time to draw up the papers. The worst part is, if you go to CelebrityJihad.com, a pop up window opens on your browser and Kanye West says, "I know you want to see Taylor Swift's rack, and you can, but first check out Beyoncé's. It's the best rack of all time." [TMZ]
- I really don't want to talk about child bride Courtney Stodden and her actor husband Doug Hutchison, but then he went and dressed as her for Halloween and now I can't resist sharing with you. Hutchison looks just like her, but a little sad and lonely, which is exactly how she'll look in 70 years when she's his age. Courtney appears to be dressed as Little Bo Peepshow. We never knew someone could make a lollipop look wet for all the wrong reasons before. Yeah, just think about where she put that. [Us Weekly]
- Here's another one for the "duh" file: Madonna's homeless brother says that she was always a bitch. [NYDN]
- When I first read that abtastic underwear model and part time soccer player Cristiano Ronaldo was in a nude photo scandal I immediately put on my Halloween costume as a Boner. You know, the dead guy from Growing Pains. But then I realized they aren't pictures of him. Apparently Ronaldo got naked pictures from a sexy Dutch fan and when he went to delete them, he accidentally forwarded them to everyone in his address book, including British famewhore Pixie Lott, American famewhore Kim Kardashian, and his girlfriend. I'd trade in all my candy from Halloween this year for his dong shot. No, seriously. I will. [Mirror]
- Fashion muse Daphne Guinness won't be wearing a costume for Halloween this year. "I mean, the funny thing is I always wanted to get dressed for Halloween. I'm not very good at getting dressed up. I'm going out with a friend, I'm sort of taking it easy," she says. That is such a shame. We'd just love to see who she would choose to dress as and which designer she'd convince to make her outfit. If Daphne dressed as Divine I would probably just keel over and die of gayness right there on the spot. [Page Six]