Kris Humphries' Unbelievably Pathetic Reaction to Kim Leaving Him

Kim Kardashian's soon-to-be ex-husband is pleading ignorance about their divorce, claiming he didn't know his fame monster wife was going to file divorce papers today:

I'm committed to this marriage and everything this covenant represents. I love my wife and am devastated to learn she filed for divorce... I'm willing to do whatever it takes to make it work.

Is Kris in on Kim's matrimonial shell game? Or is he just a dumb jock incapable of thinking further into the future than, say, dinnertime?

Either way, I hereby move to write an Actual Defense of Marriage Act. ADOMA will establish that no persons should ever be barred from marriage due to sexual orientation, only fame-whore-iness. Many years from now, historians will remember this time as the Great Bridezilla Backlash. Occupy the Kardashians! Occupy David's Bridal! [TMZ, image via Getty]