On Monday morning, an 80-year-old Long Island man walked out his front door to get his paper—as he'd done hundreds of times before—only to fall, suddenly, into an eight-foot-deep hole, from where he was forced to scream to his daughter for help. Were you looking for a living, breathing metaphor for the newspaper industry? Because there's one in a hole in Oceanside, New York.

Michael Ciron thought that he could just do the same thing he always did this morning. Turns out, not really:

"I picked up the paper, before you know it, I fell into this here hole," Ciron told 1010 WINS' Mona Rivera.

His screams woke up his daughter who called 911.

"I run to his room first thinking that maybe he fell down or something," Maria Ciron said.

She finally found her father outside trying to dig himself out of the sinkhole.

"Taking the dirt from the higher part, scraping it down, and I finally got my head out," Ciron said.

Eventually the fire department showed up and managed to extract Ciron from the hole; he's "sore" but not otherwise injured. The hole is likely a product of this weekend's intense weather and the churning, superheated psychic energy, thought to be the workings of the demon Baal, located somewhere underneath East Rockaway.

[WCBS; images by Maria Ciron]