A masked man in dark clothes 'attacks' a 26-year-old foreign exchange student while she has a cigarette outside in Pleasant Prairie, Wisc., only to give up and flee when she fights back. Just another bizarre crime in America's heartland? Or the start... of the most pathetic story of the year?

Or both? Because, really, it's both. The woman was smoking outside the home of the family with whom she was living when a masked man attacked her near the garage; she fought back; he left. Police "thought the attack was random" (just one of those random masked attackers you sometimes get in the midwest)—but no, not quite:

Police say Robbie Suhr, 48, dressed in dark clothes and a mask and attacked a 26-year-old exchange student who was living with Suhr and his family.

According to a police press release, Suhr — who is married and has children — told them he wanted to be in a relationship with the woman and that he "intended to tie her up while masked, leave the area, and then return as himself to rescue her."

[...]

As of Saturday night, Police said Suhr was being held in Kenosha County Jail on charges including reckless endangerment, battery and false imprisonment.

The exchange student had apparently been living with the Suhrs for "a couple of years." Pleasant Prairie police spokesman Sgt. Peter Jung describes the case as "very original... to say the least."

[TMJ 4 via The Hairpin]