Justin Bieber's 30-Second First Time Results in Pregnancy, Allegedly

Justin Bieber just took another step on the long path to teen pop-star irrelevancy: the paternity lawsuit! And it's a juicy one, too—the woman filing suit claims she took Bieber's virginity, in a bathroom backstage, and gave birth to a baby boy three months ago.

The woman filing suit, Mariah Yeater (who should prepare for assassination attempts, or at least some very harsh Tweets, from crack teams of Beliebers), alleges that she attended a Bieber concert in Los Angeles last October, where she was told by a security guard that the pop star would like to meet her. The encounter would seem to have been illegal, as she was 19 while he was 16 (see below); nevertheless, it was decidedly unromantic:

Mariah also told the court: "After walking away from the other people backstage, Justin Bieber found a place where we could be alone — a bathroom.

"We went inside and immediately his personality changed drastically. He began touching me and repeatedly said he wanted to f*ck the sh*t out of me. At the time I asked him to put a condom for protection, but he insisted that he did not want to.

"In his own words, he said that because it was his first time he wanted to feel everything."

Justin then "quickly took off my clothes," she said — and the pair had sex.

Bieber's reps strenuously deny the woman's claims, but Yeater wrote in her court declaration: "He was on top of me with my legs around him. At the time I was on top of some type of shelf. The sexual intercourse itself was brief, lasting only approximately 30 seconds."

What are the chances this is true? We're not sure we want to analyze Yeater's erotic story too closely. (We'll note that it seems a lot more likely that a 16-year-old superstar would tell his various assignations that they were his first time(s) than it does that a 16-year-old superstar would choose a woman out of the crowd to drag to a bathroom so he could "feel everything" for his first time.) We asked Gawker's resident Bieber expert Adrian Chen what he thought:

I think it's true. Bieber has always had a teen dad vibe. And there have always been rumors of him hooking up with fans in the Biebersphere. His parents had them when they were suuuper young.

Crazy, but true.

Bieber's lawyers, unsurprisingly, describe the suit as "malicious, defamatory, and demonstrably false." Yeater is demanding that Bieber take a paternity test—so unless the suit is dismissed, we might find out pretty soon.

Update: Initially, we wrote that "at the time, the Yeater was 19 and Bieber was 16, so under California law the alleged act was not statutory rape." But, unsurprisingly, we were not quite correct. A defense lawyer in California tells us:

Penal Code Section 261.5(b) makes sex between anyone over 18 and a minor under 18 considered "statutory rape". A minor cannot consent to sex, period, under California law. Thus, under PC 261.5(b), this alleged mother is at least guilty of a misdemeanor. If there was over a 3 year difference, it can be a felony also. She would not have to register as a sex offender upon conviction, however.

So, to be clear, Justin Bieber, as a 16-year-old, could not, and cannot, consent to "feel everything" under California law.

[Radar, image via AP]