Beverage That Made Rick Perry Seem Really Gay Wasn't Alcoholic, Says His Host

Coltish gubernatorial pinup Ricky Perry may have raised a few million eyebrows after letting a couple purses drop out of his mouth during his remarks at a shindig thrown by Cornerstone Policy Research, a New Hampshire-based conservative think tank. But regardless of how it may have looked to you on YouTube, you were not there — and as the Good Book states, "Thou shalt not judge thy sassily sloshed presidential hopefuls based on a few hilarious minutes of delightfully cringeworthy viral video."

Cornerstone director Kevin Smith was there, however, and told The Hill that the only thing that touched Perry's lips that night was a clear liquid he assumed was water:

"I can tell you unequivocally he wasn't drinking at the event and he hadn't been drinking prior to the event. I was sitting with him, and I found him to be very engaging with all of the people he was talking with, he was very articulate."

"He was definitely more animated than we've seen him during the campaign but the reports that he was buzzed or whatever never crossed any of our minds...He was loose and passionate."

So stop spreading nasty rumors, you meanies! The only qualities Perry exhibited that evening were those of someone "articulate, animated and loose" — kind of like vintage Charles Nelson Reilly on a particularly engaging episode of Match Game. [The Hill via Wonkette, Photo via Getty]