Last night Oxygen's not-half-bad reality show The Glee Project finally invaded its big sister in a huge way: it introduced its first regular character. Meet Rory Flanagan, who Brittany thinks is a leprechaun.
The handful of times I watched The Glee Project I wasn't really impressed with the winner, Damian McGinty, who plays Rory, but he was pretty good on the episode, playing a foreign exchange student who no one likes. He lives with Brittany who, of course, thinks he's a leprechaun that no one else can see. Classic Brittany. She says that if he gives her three wishes, she'd let him into her "pot of gold." Please, Brit is so "sex positive" that she'd let him in so that she could get the three wishes, not the other way around.
Even though he had Brittany to pal around with Rory is lonely and has no friends and everyone picks on him. Man, there are more bullies in McKinley than there are people to bully. No wonder they hate Glee Club so much, it's simple supply and demand. So, Rory sings "It's Not that Easy Being Green." Now, I hate when our readers accuse me of reviewing something or giving it a favorable review because the show or movie has advertised on the site. So I'm not going to do that to Glee. I'm just going to point out that this song is from the original The Muppets Movie. There is also a new Muppets movie about to come out in a few weeks. I know this because there was an ad for it in the commercial break before this song aired on the show. I'm not saying there is a correlation, I just want to point that out.
I thought Rory's performance was a little bland. The song isn't as fun when it's not sung quirkily like Kermit the Frog. But I'm going along with it. Ultimately this song isn't about greenness literally (though that's all Rory wears) but about how it's difficult to be different, but sometimes it's the different things that are the greatest things.
There are other people who don't find it easy to be green. Santana is still having issues with being out even though she is happily "dating" Brittany again, even though when they hold hands at Breadstix, they do it under a napkin so no one knows. The only thing not to love about Santana is that she's a closet case.
Also feeling green is Sue Motherfucking Sylvester who gets the school musical cancelled by talking about how it spends $2004 on the news. But then, of course the musical gets uncancelled thanks to Kurt's hero of a father who gets the mortuaries of the city to fund it. Then he decides he hates Sue and is going to run against her for whatever office he's running for. That is enough of that storyline because it bores me.
Blaine singing a Katy Perry song for some reason that has nothing to do with the plot and doing his two signature dance moves (The Pee-Pee Knees and the Head Bobble) while wearing an ill-fitting Thom Browne sweater. How dare you afford Thom Browne and not even know how to wear it right! What an asshole. I'm skipping this whole fucking song.
Now this is the kind of song I want to see on Glee. It's a new arrangement of a Foreigner song that is perfectly appropriate for the moment, seamlessly integrated into the storyline, and making what is a crappy over-produced song into an acoustic gem.
Puck (whose abs look yummier than ever) is singing this to Shelby, I mean, to his daughter Beth. Puck and Quinn want to get their baby back baby back baby back just like Chili's commercial so they offer to babysit. While there, Quinn plants some awful things all around the apartment so when she calls the department of child services they'll think Shelby is an unfit mother and give the kid back to Quinn and Puck. It's sort of a lousy plan, but Quinn, for being a schemer, is a bit of a shitty schemer. She needs to spend some more time with Santana. But just while I was thinking about why Quinn would want the baby back (baby back baby back) she gave that great speech about how it was the one perfect thing she did. Good job giving us some motivation. OH! I just had an Oprah moment. Know who Quinn needs to team up with as a mentor in scheming? Terri Schuester! That would be so fucking awesome. I want them to have their own reality show. Oh my god, Terri needs to get on a Real Housewives-esque show and return to Lima to stir up trouble for TV. That would be hilarious. Free ideas here, Glee. Just give me a story credit.
Anyway, Puck likes Shelby because she's the only old lady who doesn't try to sleep with him and who actually believes that he's a good person with some talent and whatnot. You can see the Mary Kay Letourneau wheels spinning in Shelby's sleep-deprived brain.
That the newly-dubbed Troubletones would be doing a full production number in the school auditorium with costumes and back-up dancers (where did they come from?) makes absolutely no sense. Neither does Mr. Schue and Finn watching them perform. But this is a full-blown Bette Midler in For the Boys extravaganza to a Christina Hoochielera song. Sign my gay us up!
Last we saw, Mercedes checked out of New Directions and signed up for Shelby's rival group so that she could get some well-deserved solos. Now she has to go about recruiting members and she knows to hit Glee where they're the weakest. She goes to Santana and tells her that if she switched to the other choir she'd get all the solos and duets with Mercedes instead of being the back up to the Rachel and Blaine show. When Blaine busts out his idiotic number, she's convinced and wants to head to the other team. Only one problem: she's in love with Brittany and needs her to join the group too.
Santana serves as Brittany's protector, the hard edge that will deal with the real world so that her soft head can keep innocently bobbing through it. But Santana knows that soft head better than anyone, so she knows just how to manipulate it. She uses Brit's delusion about the leprechaun to get her way. She tells Rory that he better get Brittany to join the other choir or she'll make his life hell. And it works. There were so many amazing Santana moments this episode: her "nod if you understand what I'm saying" take down of Rory, her effortless dissing of Sugar Motta, and her storm out of New Directions among them. Man, I fucking love Santana.
When Finn hears the news that Brit and Santana are going to leave the club because of some silly thing that a leprechaun told Brittany, he gets pissed and calls Brittany an idiot. Oh hell no! If we have learned one thing it is that you don't call Brittany stupid. With that Brittany says she's sick of being called stupid by the boys and that is it for New Directions. Our three favorite Glee girls are now in a new group with a stupid name. That said, I'd pay money to see the Troubletones and I wouldn't even go to a New Directions concert for free. Not if it's Blaine singing Katy Perry songs.
Right after Rory sang this Teddy Thompson song, "Take Care Of Yourself," my friend Jack texted me and was all, "You need to write about Glee supporting lesser-known artists and how great this song is. He totally nailed it." And I replied "Yeah, he nailed a boring song. Congrats." Yes, all of last night's episode was a little slow (oh shit, did I break Glee by complaining that it moves too fast and now it's all slow and I'm like, "Speed it up!" Is this my fault?). I was sort of lulled into submission by the time this song got around. But Jack is right, it was a great song for the moment, was a surprising choice, and the more I listen to it, the more I like it.
And the reaction was perfect. Rachel was all happy that someone is going to save Glee, Babygay Kurt was pissed that someone can do a falsetto just as well as he can, and Finn was pleased to have a new friend, if a little jealous of his singing abilities. Rory was a big fan of Finn's before he even got to the school, because he heard about him making out with Rachel on the stage at Nationals, and now it looks like they're going to have a nice little bromance. Oh god, did I really use that word. Someone fucking punch me.
Speaking of "time to part," like it says in the song, Finn goes to the girls and apologizes for calling Brittany stupid and tells them he wishes them the best of luck, even though he'll miss them. What an adult thing to do. Brittany is growing up a bit too and she tells Rory that she know leprechauns aren't real. It appears she can be taught! But don't go ruining our girl now. And just when you think everyone is making smart decisions, Shelby starts making out with Puck. Oh, this is going to end badly.
Yes, this was a bit of a drag of an episode, but this season is certainly going in some interesting directions and I can't wait to see where it will take us.