Today the New York Times tells us the infuriating story of Todd J. Remis—a New York City man who is suing the studio H & H Photographers because he would like to recreate his wedding, and have it photographed the right way. He is being an idiot.
For one: Remis married his bride, lovely Latvian Milena Grzibovska, back in 2003. And he wants to sue now? And how. For two: He and Grzibovska are no longer married. They parted amicably, though! He would like to fly his ex-wife back to the United States, across the European continent and the expansive Atlantic Ocean, so she can once again wear her pretty white wedding dress and pose for another round of matrimonial photographs with her ex-husband, with whom she's no longer in love. It will be just like the first time, except with even more pressure for everyone to pose like they mean it and with none of the authentic "like they mean it"-ness.
In his suit, Remis seeks $4,100 for the actual photo costs plus $48,000 to fly Milena and the 40 original wedding guests back to New York to redo the whole ceremony. Why is this all necessary again? Because it is necessary:
[A] month after the wedding, when Mr. Remis returned to the studio to look over the proofs, he complained that the three-person crew had missed the last 15 minutes - the last dance and the bouquet toss. He noted in a deposition last July that the employees at H & H did not respond in a courtly fashion.
"I remember being yelled at more than I have ever been yelled at before," Mr. Remis said.
In his lawsuit, he also complained that the photographs were "unacceptable as to color, lighting, poses, positioning" and that a video, which he had expected to record the wedding's six hours, was only two hours long.
"I need to have the wedding recreated exactly as it was so that the remaining 15 percent of the wedding that was not shot can be shot," he testified.
Somewhere right now a tort reform advocate is writing a letter to his or her local elected representatives demanding that all civil courts be abolished immediately, based on this case.