Catholic Paper Real Sorry for Gay Satan ColumnS

Last week, Special Love Theologian Daniel Avila, the policy advisor for Marriage and Family at the US Conference of Catholic Bishops, issued a provocative analysis of why sometimes a man and another man love each other very much: "The scientific evidence of how same-sex attraction most likely may be created provides a credible basis for a spiritual explanation that indicts the devil."

THE DEVIL is quite literally poking various unlucky humans with his Evil Homo Pitchfork, according to serious theological policy advisor Daniel Avila. Well. As you can imagine in this day and age of "anything goes" and "man-horse marriages for all," there was a bit of an outcry, and the Catholic newspaper that published Avila's musings deleted his column, and Avila himself apologized for what was—haha, funny story—a mere error of philosophical interpretation: "The teaching of Sacred Scripture and of the Catechism of the Catholic Church make it clear that all persons are created in the image and likeness of God and have inviolable dignity. Likewise, the Church proclaims the sanctity of marriage as the permanent, faithful, fruitful union of one man and one woman. The Church opposes, as I do too, all unjust discrimination and the violence against persons that unjust discrimination inspires."

To be clear: Daniel Avila loves the gays, hates the gayness. Although on the low, Daniel Avila hates the gays, and he will be literally god damned if you devilish sodomites carry out one of your abominable marriage ceremonies anywhere near him. Which should not be interpreted as "discrimination."

[Pictured: Daniel Avila. Just kidding, it's Gay Satan. Via Bob With/ Flickr]