Detroit Football Fans' Anti-Nickelback Crusade Drawing Major Support

The resilient, rough chuckles-enduring people of Detroit put up with dog poop air, crime-ring moms, crime-ring stray dogs, fake Koch evictions, and 1,001 other ills. But they refuse to sit through a Nickelback half-time show during this Thanksgiving's Lions-Packers game. Uninspired Canadian crap rock is where they draw the line.

"Detroit is home to so many great musicians and they chose Nickelback?!?!?! Does anyone even like Nickelback?," asks Lions fan Dennis Guttman. "Is this some sort of ploy to get people to leave their seats during halftime to spend money on alcoholic beverages and concessions? This is completely unfair to those of us who purchased tickets to the game." A few days ago, Guttman launched an online crusade against Nickelback's proposed halftime appearance. As of this writing almost 37,000 people have signed it, thereby becoming official Occupy Halftime protesters.

As is often true with petitions, which require the petitioned party to be open-minded enough to consider compromise and The People's wants and needs, this petition might not lead to much. The NFL points out that Nickelback hasn't officially been announced as the official halftime entertainment—but even if they were, the Detroit Free Press reports, "there's no chance" anyone will replace them. Perhaps Detroiters could call upon Motor City Matriarch Aretha Franklin to show up and blow those Mounties off the stage with her gigantic voice and soulpower.

Only 33 people in the whole world have signed counter-petitions supporting Nickelback's halftime appearance, but most of them did so believing they would receive free iPads and help launching their new small businesses in exchange.

[Free Press]