Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds Are Having the Most Boring Love Affair Ever

Blake and Ryan do nothing but stay home and walk their dogs. Kelly Rowland says Beyonce is having a girl. Jamie Lynn Spears makes her country singer-songwriter debut. And can you guess who Lindsay Lohan's Playboy pictorial is "inspired" by? Tuesday gossip wears a Slanket and eats soup.

  • Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds (Bleh-nolds) are having the blandest love affair ever. This weekend, they stayed home and walked their dogs. The weekend before, they stayed home and walked their dogs. Before that, they stayed home and walked their dogs, and before that, they sat next to each other on an Acela train. Considering that Leo took Blake on whirlwind tours of Italy and to Monte Carlo yacht parties, Ryan should maybe step it up? We, the American people, expect better from these strangers we do not know at all, but like to look at in magazines. Unless, of course, they're having kinky hermit sex in that apartment, in which case a dishy quote or two from the maid will do. [LaineyGossip, image via Splash]
  • Beyonce hasn't announced the gender of her mysterious shapeshifting baby, yet, but that's why Kelly Rowland exists: To take the bait every time Beyonce won't. "I have no idea what I'm going to buy Beyonce at the baby shower because Jay is going to buy that little girl every single thing possible. She won't be spoiled but she will be very well looked-after." They plan to keep her diamond-bedazzled binkie count down to a modest 18. [NYDN]
  • To whom is Lindsay Lohan's Playboy pictorial a "classic tribute"? Feminist anarchist Emma Goldman, in the era of the Spanish Civil War. No, but seriously, do I even need to say it? Arilynmay Onroemay. (Apparently it was Hef's idea.) All LiLo now is a death photo, and she'll have covered the entire oeuvre. [People, P6]
  • In other LiLo "boobs, ass, and vag" news, her Playboy issue will hit newsstands in late December. [Reuters]
  • Katherine and Joe Jackson on Dr. Conrad Murray's conviction for the manslaughter of their son: "Justice has finally been served." [OMG]
  • Robert Pattinson on filming sex scenes: "Watching other people have sex is never going to be that spectacular anyway." Millions of twihards beg to differ. [Parade]
  • 20-year-old Jamie Lynn Spears made her Nashville debut last night with "a set of her own original songs." Her daughter is now three years old. [People]
  • Comedian you don't like Chelsea Handler and hotelier you don't care about Andre Balazs have broken up. It'd make you sad, if you bothered expending emotional energy on it. [P6]
  • After surgery to remove a benign polyp from her vocal cords, Adele's prognosis is "good." [LATimes]
  • Michael Vick is about to have a penis pic scandal. I'm having a little trouble synthesizing my dog fight pun database with my penis pun database. Might give up and go for the "Vick dick" rhyme, instead. [Radar]