13 More Embarrassing Things That Can Happen During Sex

The Gloss made a list of "13 Most Embarrassing Things That Can Happen During Sex," ranging from "not being able to perform" to "saying 'I love you.'" Charming, but totally false. This list doesn't use the word "poop" even once.

Let us take the aforementioned "embarrassing things" list as a challenge, because when humans are frantically jamming their private parts into other humans' deep, dark orifices in middle of the night with no lights on, the result can be much worse than "saying the wrong name." Off the top of my head:

  • Saying your daughter's name.
  • Saying a pet's name.
  • Poop.
  • Hitting your gag reflex during a blowjob, and subsequently vomiting on a dick.
  • Hitting your gag reflex during cunnilingus, vomiting on a vagina, and subsequently causing a yeast infection.
  • Discovering a yeast infection.
  • Discovering a hidden patch of warts.
  • Discovering anything buried in a mound of hair.
  • Liquid poop.
  • Much more embarrassing than "suggestion rejection": Suggestion 911 call and citizen's arrest.
  • When you made your partner "squirt," it was actually something different, and you really should go wash off.
  • Discovering your one-night stand is a different gender/orientation than anticipated.
  • Discovering your one-night stand is a sex blogger, and your "not being able to perform" is on the record.

Got worse? Go for it in the comments. [The Gloss, naked rats swapping sex stories via LinasT/Shutterstock]