Donald Trump's Son-In-Law Orders Occupy Wall Streeters to Go HomeS

The most amusing things of all about the New York Observer are its comically repellent house editorials, which are dictated from on high by owner and Donald Trump family member Jared Kushner and are always, always hilariously right-wing in a way that stands out from the rest of the paper's content like a Trump in Zucotti Park.

Today: millionaire real estate scion Jared Kushner orders all you people at Occupy Wall Street to go home.

Now it's time for the demonstrators to end their protests on their own terms, and with more than a little dignity and pride. Reports of crimes committed against demonstrators have raised concerns about public safety. (Most recently, a Brooklyn man has been accused of sexually abusing an 18-year-old woman in the park.) Continuing the camp out in Zuccotti Park could lead to public health issues, especially with winter approaching. The message of frustration and the demands for action could become overshadowed by the fringe elements that have sought to attach themselves to the movement. (The presence of signs condemning Israel's policies in the West Bank and Gaza suggests that there are agendas at work here beyond frustration with the U.S. economy.)

Jared Kushner has been reading the New York Post, all by himself! We picture Jared, brow furrowed in concentration, scrutinizing Post stories and taking careful notes in crayon, then dictating this editorial to one of his sheepish minions tasked with hammering it into publishable shape, cursing under their breath the whole time "I didn't go to Wesleyan to do this shit."

Good to know the 1% has a voice in this debate, too.

[NYO. Photo: AP]